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DOLLY

15.09.2021
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The attack march exploded in my ears again in the early morning. Even though I wake up to the same melody every morning, I can't help but get startled. I need to change this alarm sound. Why did I make this anthem anyway? Despite weakness and fatigue, give up the desire to suddenly get out of bed with a fighting spirit, chanting Allah, and start the day quickly and dynamically. Again, I have my own answers ready for my own actions. I have a very ready answer. My mother always complained about this. Actually, there was nothing to complain about, but whatever. I love being my own lawyer. In fact, yes, I have to admit; I love being an advocate for others. He did this, why did he do it? Oh, but wait, he was recently subjected to mobbing by his boss, he's upset, I shouldn't upset him with my own problems. Another; She was subjected to violence by her husband, left her family and children and ran away, and they say "I shouldn't bother" and the issue goes on and on... It's hard to be a woman in this country! Let's get ready quickly after the main attack march and check the to-do list today without leaving home. The top ten lists appear in chaotic order. We start with the first part, which is the most popular part of the list. DININ DINININ DINININ If something happens to me, or if a guest suddenly comes to my house, I start the day by saying, "Look at the state of this house," and by preparing breakfast for the child in the kitchen. While making an omelette, the thought of wiping up what spilled on the stove with a wet wipe, one of the best inventions in the world, and picking up what spilled on the floor with the clean side (the idea is to reduce the level of embarrassment a little if someone comes) and wiping my shoes with the remaining clean side. Immediately afterwards, a moment of silence for the soul of the person who took out the wet wipe, sending prayers and closing. I am a very frugal person. Of course, it will be like that, something worth 3 lira has become 15 lira. Life is very expensive! Go back to your to-do list, girl. You think about so many things at the same time. Don't forget to deal with the issue your brother mentioned, call the school, they will ask for money again if there is a trip or something. Listen to your troubles, do activities to entertain yourself during breaks, don't forget to earn your living, work hard, people won't give you money for nothing. You have work to do, issues to solve. Beware of harsh angles in the sky, stay away from fights with your employer, astrologers say. Oh, and I can't stand a fight. Don't give in to your anger, stay calm, my daughter, the list goes on and on until you fall asleep like this with your suggestions... It's tiring, very much. There's still work to do. At night, that mind, that ego, constantly goes over every breath it takes during the day. I wish I hadn't said that, how could I have forgotten to say that, especially if there is a tomorrow, they will show you the day... A mind that flagellates itself, an ego that feeds on pain. Your eyelids beg you to close me, your mind won't hear it, it will get that Z report. Is it morning? We start again in the morning with the attack march... Sometimes you want to be cloned. We are not worth as much as a sheep Dolly in this life. Where did Dolly come from? Honestly, from herd psychology! Why should I be cloned anyway? Why should there be another one from me, when even I can't stand myself sometimes?

And then the most unexpected things happen in that long list of things you planned and planned to do. The most painful thing is that life hits you in the face from unexpected places. He says here's the list. One goes back and forth between the difficulty of getting out of the ease of routine and getting used to a new situation. Because even though you grumble about the hustle and bustle of what is done every day, you actually get used to that tempo. Without realizing it, you satisfy the personality and emotional states of various types of names, and you are nourished by all of them. Then you become obese due to wrong nutrition... Even though it may seem like a new event to you, what you experience is actually the truth that should happen. It becomes apparent at the very first moment; one must realize the difference between seeing and looking. There is no compulsion in life. It has its own flow and integrity. Life intends to take you beyond the door you need to pass through. It shows small gaps beforehand. How you prepare to go through those gaps and your reactions at that stage are your key to that door. And the key isn't always under the mat. Leaving it to the neighbor is also very cliché. Seeing with your heart... This is important... Reaching the ability to feel deeply... Living is not the success of waking up early in the morning, paying the bill, or wiping the egg that fell on the floor with a wet tissue. They are the reactions you give by stepping with awareness into the rush that you fit in until you wake up and fall asleep. It is the ability to see what is given to you in the moment with your soul, your blood, your breath.

It is service! It is service to the good, the beautiful, gratitude, acceptance of what is. Everything changes every moment! What happens happens the way it should. A simple, yet difficult, infinitely meaningful simulation... Oh, what a beautiful thing you are to live, how beautiful it is to be sent off with a smile without harming any living creature in this world...

May your simulation exist with acceptance, love and understanding.

Whatever you do, with love...

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